I feel myself pushing back. I feel myself resisting and saying fuck it. I feel all these negative emotions building up and spilling over into the things I love. I’m at the point where I don’t want to be bothered or speak to white people. When these thoughts happen, I have to step back, take a breather and reevaluate the situation and ask myself, “Why am I feeling this way?”
Between the shit on the news and the book community being a hot ass mess, my feelings are justify yet I know that mindset and way of thinking is not going to help in long run. Just know I’m tired. Tired of always seeing unarmed Black Men shot on video tapes. I have cousins and uncles who are brothers, fathers and husbands. So the thought that their lives seems invalid is heartbreaking and maddening.
I’m tired of the vitriol and hatred that is running amok in the book community and only seeing the same few authors and book bloggers defending and fighting back against the hate. This was suppose to be my safe place but it doesn’t feel that way anymore. All because some people can’t stand the thought that readers want to read books that presents them. Books that are diverse and written by POC and marginalized groups. As I recall the United States and pretty much most of world is a melting pot. So why can’t that be seen and written in book?
What’s disheartening is to see some authors, pushing back against diversity. Some have the idea that they are being “forced to write diverse.” Newsflash, no one is forcing you to write diverse but I will not go on a full blown rant because I don’t have the strength. Just know that I’m disappointed in many authors that I’ve supported but will not in the coming future.
At this moment in time my Black dollars will be spend wisely and if that means turning by back on a few authors so be it. I will let my blog and dollars speak for me. Because enough is enough.
Anyways, I’ve said all this to get these thoughts and feelings off my just. This negativity was bringing me down into a dark place I don’t wish to go. So I had to get it out. So if you read my ramblings thanks. If I offended, I’m sorry. And white people know that I have love for you and no hate in my heart. Just sad with the way the world and the rest of humanity is acting at the moment.
As always thanks for stopping by <3